Terrie Sanchez Blog

Thank you, all

2008-04-05T18:08:00.000-07:00

Dear folks,

I think this will be the last post, in case some of you are still reading it. I thought I would try to write this immediately after the service, but I couldn't find the right words or the energy to write, until today.

Thank you for the astounding number of you who came to Terrie's memorial service. We estimate that there were about 350 - 360 people present; we had to open the back parking lot (which is just dirt) to provide the needed parking, and I know that our shy, gentle Terrie would be amazed that she touched so many lives. I know that the family really appreciated your concern and support.

Truly this service was directed by the Lord. Many of you volunteered to help or suggested something for the service. And the Lord just kept providing and directing people, thoughts, food, services. Here are some of the highlights:

Since Marisa and Grandma Juanita had enough to deal with, Nancy and Pastor Pierre took the burden of planning and coordinating the service.
When Marisa's schoolmates and staff realized that Terrie had gone to sleep in the Lord, the Oceanaires (the school choir) offered to sing at the service. Moreover, one of the members of a girls' quartet wrote a song just for Marisa and the quartet sang it at the service for her.
Violinist and vocalist Beverly Blount rearranged her schedule in order to come perform Amazing Grace at the service -- we didn't know until the last minute whether she would be able to come.
Linda and Pat found "By Faith I Stand", the song that opened the service, and which sums up so well Terrie's faith in God.
The photos came from the family and from Sally.
Sally had bronchitis, so Kirk graciously stepped in at the last minute to write and give the eulogy -- in spite of the fact that we don't know a great deal of Terrie's history.
Although we had time to read only a few of sentences from the cards you wrote during the service -- Della even wrote a poem for Terrie -- it was very heartwarming for the family to receive your thoughts.
On the previous Sabbath Debbie began asking people to help provide food for the post-service meal, and people willingly agreed. Some of you even brought more than we'd requested. And when the word went out on the telephone tree, many more of you called Debbie to ask what you could do to help.
Originally we had planned a meal for 180 people, but so many people called to help that we had food for 220. Now, usually food for 220 does not feed 360 people, but the Lord stretched the food, as He did with the fishes and loaves: Not only did everyone have plenty to eat, but we had 3 lasagnas and 6 loaves of French bread left over!
Then Lorraine and Jerry decided that the reception should look nice, so they brought tablecloths and all that was needed, and decorated the tables to provide a lovely atmosphere.
After the meal many of you thought to help clean up in the kitchen, the fellowship hall, and the sanctuary -- and your help made everything go so much faster!
So many of you stayed to speak with the family that they didn't leave the church until at least 90 minutes after the service -- what a comfort you all have been to them! What a gift you have given them, that they know that they are not alone in their grief.

Our lives and attention will necessarily return to the other tasks and issues that are part of daily living, but I know you will continue to remember Marisa and the rest of the family in prayer, and with occasional visits or cards. Please keep her in prayer, as Marisa's grief will affect her in various ways, for quite awhile. I don't know how Marisa will deal with her grief, but for me, even several months after my mom died, I wouldn't remember things that my husband told me -- he had to sit me down and remind me gently about commitments that we had made (and of which he'd already reminded me 3 times), commitments that I never remembered making or hearing, even after he reminded me.

If you think of it, Marisa will appreciate receiving your just-thinking-of-you cards or notes even several months from now, and on the holidays or Terrie's or Marisa's birthday. A friend sent me a sympathy card and a note about four months after my mom died, and I really appreciated it. In her note she just commented that she'd appreciated being remembered in her grief even months afterward, she just wanted me to know she thought Mom was a special lady and that she remembered.

Marisa will continue her school year at Monterey Bay Academy, and will be staying with a friend of the family much of the time. At least some of her weekends will be spent with Grandma Juanita, so there'll be some continuity there.

Thank you for sharing this journey with us. May God bless you all, may you see and feel His mercy for you and yours, and may we all meet again on Resurrection Day, when our Lord comes to receive His own.

Under His mercy,

Marty

What memories do you have of Terrie?

2008-03-28T15:01:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

As we were thinking of the memorial service, we realized that none of us know much about Terrie's life before we met her. If any of you would like to share your memories of Terrie for a keepsake for Marisa, you may email me whatever you'd like to share.

You may send cards to

Marisa Fry

801 Nash Rd, A1

Hollister, CA 95023

Please do not send flowers to the house; it's a rather compact dwelling. Instead, please send them to the church for the memorial service at the address in the previous post. When sending flowers for the service, please let the florist know that there will be no one at the church to receive the deliveries until an hour or so before the service.

I'll try to post more, later, as things get sorted out, or as the need arises. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Terrie's Memorial Service

2008-03-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

Grandma Juanita will be staying with Marisa this week. Marisa's dad is returning home as I write this; Marisa's aunt and uncle will return home tomorrow.

The memorial service will be held next Friday, April 4th, at 4:30 p.m. at the

Hollister Seventh-day Adventist Church

2121 Sunnyslope Rd

Hollister

(831) 637-5506

The church is one block away from the intersection of Fairview and Sunnyslope. For those of you who are less familiar with Hollister, Sunnyslope is also known as Tres Piños or as Nash Road, depending on where you are on that road. The name tells you which section you're on.

We are currently planning to reserve some time during the service for friends and family to share what they think of Terrie. For those of you who wish to give a brief tribute to Terrie, try to take this week and write out what you'd like to say. If you'd like to share something but don't want to actually speak in front of everyone, write what you'd like to say and we'll have someone read it for you. Please make your comments brief -- no more than 3 minutes -- so that there'll be time for everyone to participate if they wish.

Please come and join us next Friday; this service will be a time for us to find closure -- to grieve together, to encourage and support each other, and to remember the Terrie we love.

This is the information I have now. Please check back throughout the next week for more information, which I will post when I have it. I'm sure I haven't thought of everything, so, should you have any questions, you may email me. and I'll answer them as the information surfaces.

God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Terrie died today

2008-03-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

Hi, all;

Shortly after 11 a.m. this morning, Terrie passed away at Mabie Northside.

Please keep her family and loved ones in your prayers.

There will be a memorial service next Friday, April 4, at the Hollister SDA Church, 2121 Sunnyslope Road, near its intersection with Fairview Road in Hollister.

Please check this blog later this evening for more, or any changed, information.

Steve Hix for Marty

2008-03-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

Marisa and Grandma Juanita are back; they arrived this afternoon.

The doctor is trying a different medication, to see if it will control the pain and still allow Terrie to be awake and responsive. When I visited her tonight, she was more active than she was last night. She seemed to respond to our voices, especially to people she's known awhile. Sometimes her eyelids fluttered, but she couldn't keep them open. She'd groan and stir, sometimes lifting her arms, and then the movement would stop.

Terrie's looking jaundiced, which means that her liver is shutting down. She's also much more edamatous (bloated) because her kidneys and/or her circulatory system are/is shutting down.

If you're like me and need a little guidance about what to do if you go visit Terrie, here are some suggestions, gleaned from experience: Talk to her and tell her all the things you want her to know -- say all the things that you want her to hear, because she can still hear you -- even if she does not seem to respond to what you're saying. If you like, you can stroke her arms very gently and lightly; before she returned to the hospital she liked to have someone stroke her arms because that made them hurt less.

If Marisa or Grandma Juanita are there when you go, be sensitive to their needs and remember that this is their time with Terrie, too. If it seems appropriate you might tell them what you think of Terrie, but be careful to use the present tense, not the past tense -- I know it helped me when my mom died, and people told me how wonderful she was, and how we kids had made her proud.

And remember that Terrie can still hear you, so speak encouragingly, even when you're talking to other people in the room.

God bless you all.

Under His mercy,

Marty

Today's postscript

2008-03-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

I've been intending to tell you how impressed I am by the number of people who have come to visit Terrie while she's been in the hospital, and by the tenderness you've shown her. Whenever I've gone to visit her someone -- or several someones -- are already there or arrive shortly after I do. You've visited with her, even if you (like me) haven't been able to carry on an extended conversation with her. You've brought flowers, plants, things to do, something to read.

And it's been a real joy to be able to watch you with her. Each one of you has enriched Terrie and has given her so much. And a few of you, like Elidia and Nancie L., are so tender and thoughtful that it is a real privilege to watch you with her. I myself am not the best sick room comforter; I don't chat easily, and I seldom, if ever, think of the little attentions to her needs and comfort.

Thank you for the love you are pouring out to her. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Terrie's current condition

2008-03-26T07:25:00.001-07:00

Hi, all,

On Monday night Terrie did not recognize two very good friends but was able to speak with them intermittently. Yesterday the doctor and staff administered stronger medications, as Terrie was in a great deal of pain. As a result, she spent the day sleeping. Over the next day or so, the doctor hopes to reduce the medication just enough so that it will control the pain but will still allow Terrie to stay awake. According to the palliative pain nurse, there may be "a small window" (I think she means a small range) where that would be possible.

Grandma Juanita, Auntie Deon, and Marisa were on their way back yesterday, but had not arrived by the time I had to leave. The facility granted permission for friends and family to stay with Terrie, so her good friend Nancie L. was going to stay with her all night, so she would not be alone.

When I return tonight I'll let you know what else has happened.

Under His mercy,

Marty

Life at Mabie Northside

2008-03-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

Thank you to all of you have visited Terrie these last two weeks; your visits have helped her a lot, and she is so grateful for all the support you've all shown her. Since she's not on a morphine drip, and the anesthetic from the surgery is now out of her system, Terrie really enjoys your visits.

She's gradually accumulating quite a store of gifts and sundries, thanks to your thoughtful gifts. When I was visiting her the other day, she'd sent her supervising captain (from work) out to find her some cotton swabs and popsicles. Her good friend Nancie brought her a green feathered boa scarf for St. Patrick's Day. Elidia contributed an inspirational book of prayers. Several other people have brought her small puzzles, word finder books, and other things to do. But I think what she enjoys most are your visits, because there's some interaction and she can hear what you're doing and what's happening with all of you.

Yesterday morning the staff at Mabie Northside met with Terrie and her family to chat and see how Terrie felt about the care she has been receiving. This was a routine meeting, one that is given to all new residents at Mabie Northside. When I saw Terrie last night, she was quite pleased; she'd had a shower for the first time in a few days. We certainly miss those "small" pleasures when we're deprived of them, don't we?

Grandma Juanita and Auntie Deon will be leaving on Sabbath to go home, as Marisa will be leaving to visit her dad for spring break.

Should you post comments on this blog, I'll print them and take them to Terrie so she can see them. God bless!

Under His mercy,

Marty

At Mabie Northside

2008-03-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

Terrie's been moved over the weekend to Mabie Northside, the skilled nursing facility across the street from Hazel Hawkins Hospital. As she had been given no morphine, when I saw her yesterday she was alert and very bored. She'd love to have you visit! Someone (James?) thoughtfully brought her a large word finder puzzle book -- these are easier to do than crossword puzzles, but will help keep the brain active. She has a deck of playing cards to play Solitaire, but she says she can't do that anymore. I think she can't manage the cards, as they're slippery.

While we were there the staff tried to insert a shunt into her arm so that she could receive a morphine drip intravenously, one that she could control herself. When the hospital staff administered the morphine, Terrie would fade in and out while we were talking with her; but if she wasn't receiving the morphine drip she was lucid and alert.

God bless you all!

Under HIs mercy,

--Marty

Terrie's surgery

2008-03-13T23:51:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

The surgery on Terrie's leg seems to have gone well. It's difficult to carry on a conversation with her, as she keeps fading in and out, so there's not too much else to tell you at this point. Grandma Juanita and Auntie Deon are staying with Marisa. I'll probably write a little more sometime this weekend, when a few things are sorted out and they make a little more sense.

God bless!

--Marty

In the Hospital Again

2008-03-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

Today's news: Terrie's at Hazel Hawkins and should now have a rod in her right thigh, not to mention a few staples.

Yesterday morning she got up to go to the bathroom and, thinking she was healed, she didn't ask for any help, so she fell and broke her right thigh (femur). She was to go into surgery at 4 this afternoon, but I don't know how she's doing now. Dr. Bunch said he was going to remove the cancerous bone, insert a rod to stabilize the bits of femur that are left, and (I think) add a few staples at the top and bottom to help stabilize the bone fragments.

Terrie has been only catnapping, so she's sleep-deprived, as well as being well sedated, so it's no wonder that she's a little confused. Grandma Juanita says Terrie's been hallucinating and talks a lot while she's dreaming and then she wakes up.

I"ll let you know how she's doing when I can -- today or tomorrow.

God bless!

Under His mercy,

--Marty

Update #19; Terrie's Current Condition

2008-03-09T22:24:00.000-07:00

Hi, all,

Thank You …

Thank you to those of you who've commented since I last wrote. For the last week or two Terrie's not been able to sit at the computer, so she won't be responding to your comments. If you print your comments I'll see to it that she gets them.

And many, many thanks to those of you who have been donating your PTO to Terrie! Her disability won't kick in until the end of April or the end of May (She wasn't clear on that matter.), so your generosity is so very much appreciated.

How Terrie's Doing Now

She's unable to walk without help now. She has to lean on something, and can no longer walk up the stairs to her bedroom. Yesterday the hospital bed arrived, so she now sleeps downstairs in the living room, on her hospital bed. Grandma says Terrie cannot hold anything in her hands, including the phone.

Terrie's on several analgesics: sodium naproxen, Vicodin, morphine in pill form, and liquid morphine (when the morphine pill isn't enough). Since the morphine causes her to itch, she takes Benadryl with the morphine, to stop the itching. The sores in her mouth are gone now, but I'm not so sure she's eating much.

Everything hurts now: shoulders, arms, legs. Yesterday I could touch her lightly, if I was careful not to touch the most painful places. There are no comfortable positions for her, so she resettles herself every couple of minutes. And she wrestles with her fears; her morale rises with the dulling of the pain, and plummets as the pain increases.

What this tells us is that the cancer in her bones is reaching a point where she'll be in great pain. Her oncologist told us that cancer in the bone is very painful, but is not life-threatening. It's the cancer in the liver that will be life-threatening.

That's all for now. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Update #19

2008-02-24T21:57:00.000-08:00

Hi, all,

I've been down with a cold for the last week, so I haven't had any time with Terrie until we talked on the phone today.

Here are some of her observations from the last few weeks:

Even though she wasn't at the clinic as long as we'd hoped, she feels that being there and listening to the doctors really helped to sharpen her sense of urgency about her condition and better defined what she can do to help herself. When the doctors sent her home so quickly, she realized that her breathing really had become quite labored, and that she needed to have that issue addressed here at home. Because her breathing had worsened gradually she didn't realize how much capacity she'd lost. The doctors put her on oxygen when they found that the saturation had slumped to 81% or so -- and they like the saturation level to be in the mid-90's.

Now that she's had her surgery she's no longer huffing and puffing when she tries to get up. However, she still has pain near her knees, and she now uses a walker. Just going into the grocery store for one or two items tires her out. She's also finding that she is losing sensitivity in her hands, and has no power to grasp and hold things as she used to.

Grandma Juanita is taking Auntie Deon home and will return later this week.

That's all for now, folks. May God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

James

2008-02-24T00:23:00.000-08:00

Hello Jimmy,

I pray that you have a quick recovery. Give me a call when you are back in town. The last couple of days have been a bit tough on me. I'm lucky to be surrounded by people who care about me. I had the worst anxiety attack today. You take good care of yourself and I'll see you soon.
God bless you and be with you.

Always your friend,

Terrie

Update #18 Terrie's Coming Home!

2008-02-19T14:02:00.000-08:00

Hi, folks,

Terrie's coming home today and will spend the rest of the day just resting and enjoying being home. She didn't sleep much last night.

I don't think I told you that she was rooming with 3 other women, and that one of them is an escape artist! I don't know whether this woman is always that way, or if it's just that she's on heavy meds which cause her to be confused. She keeps trying to get out of bed, in spite of the fact that she's hooked up to all kinds of tubes. Terrie's called to the hospital staff on more than one occasion, because her roommate was attempting to climb out of bed.

On one occasion the nurse came in while the woman was climbing out of bed, and inquired, "What are you doing?"

The lady replied that she "wanted her dirty bathing suit."

The nurse responded, "Where is it?"

Angrily the patient snapped, "You've got it!"

"No," replied the nurse, "I've got your clean dressing gown!"

Since episodes like this happened frequently, Terrie didn't get a lot of rest -- besides the fact that it's not restful when the staff keep coming in to take your blood pressure or give you injections or medications , day or night.

God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Update #17

2008-02-17T20:35:00.000-08:00

Hi, everybody,

Terrie's lunch yesterday was four hours late; she didn't eat until 4 p.m. because the medical staff injected Terrie with antibiotics yesterday, to seal the space between the pleura, so the fluid doesn't have a place to collect. She had to lie on her back or side and then had to turn every 30 minutes for four hours. Apparently more fluid is still draining -- more than the staff expected -- and so they probably won't be removing the tube (drain) tomorrow. She still has to stay in the hospital for 24 hours after they remove the tube.

Terrie's eating, with a good appetite. Her courage grows and weakens throughout the day, depending on what's happening or what gets her attention.

That's about all for now. God bless!

--Marty

Update #16

2008-02-15T22:26:00.000-08:00

Hi, all,

Since I didn't see Terrie today, there's not much to tell, except that we expect her to remain in the hospital at least through tomorrow. I'll write more when I have news for you.

God bless!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Update #15 More Hospital Stuff

2008-02-14T22:05:00.000-08:00

Hi, all,

Because the pleural space is not draining as much as the doctors had hoped, they moved the drain (tube) this evening and put Terrie on morphine, to accommodate the pain. They will be injecting her with something to cause the tissue to scar so that there won't be any place inn the pleural space for the fluid to collect. And they'll be doing an MRI to see what they have accomplished.

Grandma is staying with Marisa, so all is well there. Please keep Marisa in your prayers -- this has got to be a little disconcerting for a 15-year-old to face.

I'll try to give you an update tomorrow on how things are going for Terrie. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Update #14 At the Hospital

2008-02-13T21:26:00.000-08:00

Hello, everybody,

During today's surgery the doctors removed about 1200 cc's of fluid from the pleural space (the space between the lung and the chest/abdominal cavity). By the time I saw Terrie 5-6 hours later, another 800 cc's had drained from her. Mind you, the doctors at last week's clinic already removed 600 cc's last Thursday.

They'll keep the drain (tube) in Terrie until the fluid's completely drained. What causes this fluid to collect just outside her lungs? As I understand it, the doctor's hypothesizing that Terrie has some cysts which are "weeping". After the fluid's drained out of the pleural space, the doctor may inject something to cause scarring and will cause the tissues to adhere to each other, leaving no room for the fluid to collect.

For an easy-to-understand explanation which, to my untrained eye, gives more detail and, perhaps, more accurate information (and pictures!), see this link: http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=5291 .

When I left her, Terrie was on oxygen, to help her breathe easily. And, of course, she's in some discomfort from the surgery, as well as from the cancer itself. Her legs bother her, and she keeps jiggling them.

We expect that she will remain in the hospital at least through Friday. It is a blessing that Grandma Juanita is staying for awhile, to help Terrie with all the little (and not so little) things, and to help Marisa. Juanita runs errands and brings things for Terrie to keep her occupied.

If you wish to send cards, send them to Terrie's home address. If you'd like to call or visit her in the hospital, she'd love to see/hear from you. She sends her love to all of you, and thanks you for your prayers and thoughts. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Update #13 - Terrie to be hospitalized

2008-02-12T21:33:00.000-08:00

Hi, all,

I just found out that Terrie will be admitted to the Hazel Hawkins Hospital in Hollister tomorrow to have the fluid removed from around her lungs, and she expects to be there a few days. After I see her tomorrow I'll try to give you an update on how long she expects to be there. Besides the shortness of breath, Terrie is in some discomfort and seems to be most comfortable lying down.

It's been an interesting few days for behind-the-scenes details, and I'm not too sure what else I can tell you that'll make sense, so I'll probably just ramble until everything gels.

Josie, I apologize for not replying to you sooner; I missed your post the first time I read the comments for that section. Irene, a friend of Terrie's from church, went to the clinic with her. It was Irene who took care of all the travel details: picked her up and drove her to the airport, ensured that there'd be a skycap with a wheelchair for Terrie at the airports, checked the baggage, and arranged for transportation between the airport and the clinic.

As Auntie Deon said in her comment, Marisa's grandma Juanita came to stay with Marisa while Terrie was gone. I've only met Juanita once, just before Terrie left for the clinic, but she seems a warm and caring lady.

I'll try to write tomorrow night. God bless you all!

--Marty

2008-02-09T20:25:00.001-08:00

Hello Mr. and Mrs. Wilson,

Thank you for your post. I pray that you have safe travels and a great visit with your family. I'll see you after you return. Thank you for your visits and prayers. God bless you.

With love,

Terrie

Update #12 -- Terrie's Lung

2008-02-07T22:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight's post:

Irene called to give us an update. The doctors removed almost all the fluid from the pleural space, -- the space between the lung and the rest of the chest. The fluid is not in the lung itself, and that's *very* good news. They had Terrie on oxygen for awhile.

Tomorrow they'll be able to take another x-ray and see if there are any lesions.

Terrie's spirits are good, and I'll pick them up from the airport tomorrow about 2:30 p.m., so they should be back home by 3:30 to 4 p.m. tomorrow.

God bless!

--Marty

Update #11

2008-02-07T08:10:00.000-08:00

Hi, folks,

Finally there's something to put in the blog! Terrie left on Monday for the clinic, but I did not hear from her or Irene until yesterday.

At the Clinic

When Terrie arrived, she couldn't manage climbing the stairs to her room, so the clinic gave her a ground floor room. X-rays show that her right lung is now 3/4 full, and the doctors will remove the fluid today. Since the doctors don't know how quickly her lung is filling with fluid, they have recommended that she return home now, so that, if needed, she can be hospitalized here at home.

When they heard that news, both Irene and Terrie shed a few tears, but they have adjusted and their outlook is *much* better. While Terrie and Irene feel that the lung is filling slowly, they are taking the doctors' advice and will be returning home tomorrow.

The Bright Spots

There are some bright spots, though:

One of the attending physicians said that her blood panel "does not look all that bad." While he did not elaborate, it's still encouraging.

The clinic's director spent some time with Terrie, looked her in the eye, and said, "You are a very sick girl", but then gave her hope by telling her that she (the director) believes that Terrie can recover her health, but that it will take "a very long time." She (the director) then told Terrie about another patient who not only survived, but is totally recovered. When this other patient came to the clinic, the cancer had gone to the bone, causing the bone to disintegrate so badly that the doctors installed a metal plate to hold the bone fragments in place. Determined to survive, the patient faithfully persevered and stuck to the clinic's program for five years. At the end of that five years there was no evidence that she'd had cancer, and the doctors removed the metal plate.

We now see that we must plan for the long haul, but there's great hope. After Terrie returns home I'll write again. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

--Marty