What memories do you have of Terrie?

Hi, all,

As we were thinking of the memorial service, we realized that none of us know much about Terrie's life before we met her. If any of you would like to share your memories of Terrie for a keepsake for Marisa, you may email me whatever you'd like to share.

You may send cards to 

Marisa Fry

801 Nash Rd, A1

Hollister, CA 95023

Please do not send flowers to the house; it's a rather compact dwelling. Instead, please send them to the church for the memorial service at the address in the previous post. When sending flowers for the service, please let the florist know that there will be no one at the church to receive the deliveries until an hour or so before the service. 

I'll try to post more, later, as things get sorted out, or as the need arises. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Terrie's Memorial Service

Hi, all,

Grandma Juanita will be staying with Marisa this week. Marisa's dad is returning home as I write this; Marisa's aunt and uncle will return home tomorrow.

The memorial service will be held next Friday, April 4th, at 4:30 p.m. at the

Hollister Seventh-day Adventist Church

2121 Sunnyslope Rd

Hollister

(831) 637-5506

The church is one block away from the intersection of Fairview and Sunnyslope. For those of you who are less familiar with Hollister, Sunnyslope is also known as Tres Piños or as Nash Road, depending on where you are on that road. The name tells you which section you're on.

We are currently planning to reserve some time during the service for friends and family to share what they think of Terrie. For those of you who wish to give a brief tribute to Terrie, try to take this week and write out what you'd like to say. If you'd like to share something but don't want to actually speak in front of everyone, write what you'd like to say and we'll have someone read it for you. Please make your comments brief -- no more than 3 minutes -- so that there'll be time for everyone to participate if they wish.

Please come and join us next Friday; this service will be a time for us to find closure -- to grieve together, to encourage and support each other, and to remember the Terrie we love.

This is the information I have now. Please check back throughout the next week for more information, which I will post when I have it. I'm sure I haven't thought of everything, so, should you have any questions, you may email me. and I'll answer them as the information surfaces.

God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Terrie died today

Hi, all;

Shortly after 11 a.m. this morning, Terrie passed away at Mabie Northside.

Please keep her family and loved ones in your prayers.

There will be a memorial service next Friday, April 4, at the Hollister SDA Church, 2121 Sunnyslope Road, near its intersection with Fairview Road in Hollister.

Please check this blog later this evening for more, or any changed, information.

Steve Hix for Marty

Hi, all,

Marisa and Grandma Juanita are back; they arrived this afternoon.

The doctor is trying a different medication, to see if it will control the pain and still allow Terrie to be awake and responsive. When I visited her tonight, she was more active than she was last night. She seemed to respond to our voices, especially to people she's known awhile. Sometimes her eyelids fluttered, but she couldn't keep them open. She'd groan and stir, sometimes lifting her arms, and then the movement would stop.

Terrie's looking jaundiced, which means that her liver is shutting down. She's also much more edamatous (bloated) because her kidneys and/or her circulatory system are/is shutting down. 

If you're like me and need a little guidance about what to do if you go visit Terrie, here are some suggestions, gleaned from experience: Talk to her and tell her all the things you want her to know -- say all the things that you want her to hear, because she can still hear you -- even if she does not seem to respond to what you're saying. If you like, you can stroke her arms very gently and lightly; before she returned to the hospital she liked to have someone stroke her arms because that made them hurt less. 

If Marisa or Grandma Juanita are there when you go, be sensitive to their needs and remember that this is their time with Terrie, too. If it seems appropriate you might tell them what you think of Terrie, but be careful to use the present tense, not the past tense -- I know it helped me when my mom died, and people told me how wonderful she was, and how we kids had made her proud.

And remember that Terrie can still hear you, so speak encouragingly, even when you're talking to other people in the room.

God bless you all.

Under His mercy,

Marty

Today's postscript

Hi, all,

I've been intending to tell you how impressed I am by the number of people who have come to visit Terrie while she's been in the hospital, and by the tenderness you've shown her. Whenever I've gone to visit her someone -- or several someones -- are already there or arrive shortly after I do. You've visited with her, even if you (like me) haven't been able to carry on an extended conversation with her. You've brought flowers, plants, things to do, something to read. 

And it's been a real joy to be able to watch you with her. Each one of you has enriched Terrie and has given her so much. And a few of you, like Elidia and Nancie L., are so tender and thoughtful that it is a real privilege to watch you with her. I myself am not the best sick room comforter; I don't chat easily, and I seldom, if ever, think of the little attentions to her needs and comfort. 

Thank you for the love you are pouring out to her. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty

Terrie's current condition

Hi, all,

On Monday night Terrie did not recognize two very good friends but was able to speak with them intermittently. Yesterday the doctor and staff administered stronger medications, as Terrie was in a great deal of pain. As a result, she spent the day sleeping. Over the next day or so, the doctor hopes to reduce the medication just enough so that it will control the pain but will still allow Terrie to stay  awake. According to the palliative pain nurse, there may be "a small window" (I think she means a small range) where that would be possible.

Grandma Juanita, Auntie Deon, and Marisa were on their way back yesterday, but had not arrived by the time I had to leave. The facility granted permission for friends and family to stay with Terrie, so her good friend Nancie L. was going to stay with her all night, so she would not be alone.

When I return tonight I'll let you know what else has happened.

Under His mercy,

Marty

Life at Mabie Northside

Hi, all,

Thank you to all of you have visited Terrie these last two weeks; your visits have helped her a lot, and she is so grateful for all the support you've all shown her. Since she's not on a morphine drip, and the anesthetic from the surgery is now out of her system, Terrie really enjoys your visits.

She's gradually accumulating quite a store of gifts and sundries, thanks to your thoughtful gifts. When I was visiting her the other day, she'd sent her supervising captain (from work) out to find her some cotton swabs and popsicles. Her good friend Nancie brought her a green feathered boa scarf for St. Patrick's Day. Elidia contributed an inspirational book of prayers. Several other people have brought her small puzzles, word finder books, and other things to do. But I think what she enjoys most are your visits, because there's some interaction and she can hear what you're doing and what's happening with all of you.

Yesterday morning the staff at Mabie Northside met with Terrie and her family to chat and see how Terrie felt about the care she has been receiving. This was a routine meeting, one that is given to all new residents at Mabie Northside. When I saw Terrie last night, she was quite pleased; she'd had a shower for the first time in a few days. We certainly miss those "small" pleasures when we're deprived of them, don't we?

Grandma Juanita and Auntie Deon will be leaving on Sabbath to go home, as Marisa will be leaving to visit her dad for spring break.

Should you post comments on this blog, I'll print them and take them to Terrie so she can see them. God bless!

Under His mercy,

Marty

At Mabie Northside

Hi, all,

Terrie's been moved over the weekend to Mabie Northside, the skilled nursing facility across the street from Hazel Hawkins Hospital. As she had been given no morphine, when I saw her yesterday she was alert and very bored. She'd love to have you visit! Someone (James?) thoughtfully brought her a large word finder puzzle book -- these are easier to do than crossword puzzles, but will help keep the brain active. She has a deck of playing cards to play Solitaire, but she says she can't do that anymore. I think she can't manage the cards, as they're slippery.

While we were there the staff tried to insert a shunt into her arm so that she could receive a morphine drip intravenously, one that she could control herself. When the hospital staff administered the morphine, Terrie would fade in and out while we were talking with her; but if she wasn't receiving the morphine drip she was lucid and alert.

God bless you all!

Under HIs mercy,

--Marty

Terrie's surgery

Hi, all,

The surgery on Terrie's leg seems to have gone well. It's difficult to carry on a conversation with her, as she keeps fading in and out, so there's not too much else to tell you at this point. Grandma Juanita and Auntie Deon are staying with Marisa. I'll probably write a little more sometime this weekend, when a few things are sorted out and they make a little more sense.

God bless!

--Marty

In the Hospital Again

Hi, all,

Today's news: Terrie's at Hazel Hawkins and should now have a rod in her right thigh, not to mention a few staples. 

Yesterday morning she got up to go to the bathroom and, thinking she was healed, she didn't ask for any help, so she fell and broke her right thigh (femur). She was to go into surgery at 4 this afternoon, but I don't know how she's doing now. Dr. Bunch said he was going to remove the cancerous bone, insert a rod to stabilize the bits of femur that are left, and (I think) add a few staples at the top and bottom to help stabilize the bone fragments. 

Terrie has been only catnapping, so she's sleep-deprived, as well as being well sedated, so it's no wonder that she's a little confused. Grandma Juanita says Terrie's been hallucinating and talks a lot while she's dreaming and then she wakes up.

I"ll let you know how she's doing when I can -- today or tomorrow.

God bless!

Under His mercy,

--Marty

Update #19; Terrie's Current Condition

Hi, all,

Thank You …

Thank you to those of you who've commented since I last wrote. For the last week or two Terrie's not been able to sit at the computer, so she won't be responding to your comments. If you print your comments I'll see to it that she gets them.

And many, many thanks to those of you who have been donating your PTO to Terrie! Her disability won't kick in until the end of April or the end of May (She wasn't clear on that matter.), so your generosity is so very much appreciated.

How Terrie's Doing Now

She's unable to walk without help now. She has to lean on something, and can no longer walk up the stairs to her bedroom. Yesterday the hospital bed arrived, so she now sleeps downstairs in the living room, on  her hospital bed. Grandma says Terrie cannot hold anything in her hands, including the phone.

Terrie's on several analgesics: sodium naproxen, Vicodin, morphine in pill form, and liquid morphine (when the morphine pill isn't enough). Since the morphine causes her to itch, she takes Benadryl with the morphine, to stop the itching. The sores in her mouth are gone now, but I'm not so sure she's eating much. 

Everything hurts now: shoulders, arms, legs. Yesterday I could touch her lightly, if I was careful not to touch the most painful places. There are no comfortable positions for her, so she resettles herself every couple of minutes. And she wrestles with her fears; her morale rises with the dulling of the pain, and plummets as the pain increases.

What this tells us is that the cancer in her bones is reaching a point where she'll be in great pain. Her oncologist told us that cancer in the bone is very painful, but is not life-threatening. It's the cancer in the liver that will be life-threatening.

That's all for now. God bless you all!

Under His mercy,

Marty